Church Humor

How many church members does it take to change a lightbulb?

The following are tongue-in-cheek answers, according to various faith groups. You may notice there is no answer here for members of the United Church of Christ. Please suggest an answer. Send it to us for this page.

Charismatics - Only one. Their hands are already in the air.

Roman Catholics - None. They use candles.

Pentecostals - Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians - None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.

Episcopalians - Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old electrician better (the old light bulb, too.)

Mormons - Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Baptists - At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and two or three committees to approve the change. Oh, and also one to provide a casserole.

Methodists - (see Baptists)

Lutherans - None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Unitarians - "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."